Pastoral Care

1. Introduction

This module gives you the opportunity to explore the role of the eldership in ensuring effective pastoral care takes place within a congregation.

In this module you will:

2. First thoughts

Before you start:

   Think about how pastoral care manifests itself in your church context:

Record your thoughts in a way suitable for you and at the end of this module, review your thoughts. 

Have they changed in any way? What actions will you take now?

3. Pastoral care and the elders' meeting

In the United Reformed Church, one of the functions of the Elders' meeting is 

Ensuring pastoral care takes place is not the same as doing it, and whilst most elders will exercise a ministry of pastoral care within a congregation as part of their collective responsibilty, some may not. The important thing for the Elders' meeting is to ensure a system is in place that enables effective pastoral care to happen. This may involve a wider group of people other than serving elders but it is the Elders' meeting that should oversee such a system.

If you are unsure what system is in place in your church, or what role the Elders' meeting has in it then this might be something to ask about at your next Elders' meeting.

4. What is pastoral care in the church?

So, what does this mean in practice? Ultimately it is about developing quality relationships and enabling one another to recognise, follow and become more like Jesus.  Good pastoral care can transform lives, often for all those involved, as people draw closer to God and to each other in mutual love and respect

As an elder, pastoral care plays an essential role in realising God’s mission for the church community, whether this be local or dispersed, as the body of Christ is built and strengthened.

5. Doing pastoral care

Having said everything about why pastoral care is important, when asked about pastoral care, those new to eldership, as well as many long-standing elders, often say that they feel inadequate when it comes to offering pastoral care to others. 

Yes, we may find it challenging, but we are equipped to offer pastoral care through the grace of God working in and  through us. It is through our interaction with others that people know they are valued and respected and that they belong.

 In fact, being able to offer pastoral care to others is a unique privilege, one that many elders feel passionately about. As an elder involved in the pastoral care of the congregation, we are given the opportunity to form, strengthen and deepen relationships and to encourage a sense of belonging to the church, and to Christ. 

What do other elders in your church think about their role in offering pastoral care?  Does some of what is said here ring true for them?  Why not ask some of your colleagues in the Elders' meeting what they think as a way to open up this conversation.

6. What does it involve?

Although often associated with supporting people in times of difficulty, it isn’t just about problem-solving or helping people in a crisis. If we think of shepherds, certainly they will seek help for those of the flock who are sick or in danger, but the shepherd’s first aim is to enable all of their flock to develop as fully, safely, and as healthily as possible. Similarly, in the church, pastoral care involves encouraging discipleship in its fullest sense, which often means sharing joys as well as sorrows.

This may involve visiting people in their homes, or if they are in hospital or in a care home.  It can involve a timely phone call or message of encouragement or care.  It will involve prayer, offered sensitively and appropriately.  It will require you to be able to keep the details of conversations confidential (except in matters where safeguarding is a concern).  It may involve being there for people at times of crisis, sickness and grief.  If we have established good pastoral relationships with those for whom we are caring supporting people through times of challenge can become second nature and is seen part of the holistic nature of pastoral care that the church offers.

In any Christian community, there is a mutual responsibility to exercise pastoral care for each other.  In fact we often find ourselves doing it without even realising it.  But this doesn't mean that we don't need to be intentional about ensuring that it happens.

7. How is pastoral care offered and structured?

How pastoral care is organised differs from one church to another. Some churches may have a dedicated pastoral care team, others may ask each elder to care for a small number of people or households.  Even if you are not directly involved in this way, as an elder you are inevitably involved in working with others and it is through these interactions  that you are able to offer appropriate care, support, and respect.

Whilst we are all called to offer pastoral care in some way or another, for some this area of work is a particular calling. You may feel you want to do extra training, or focus on one facet of caring within the church community. If this is the case then you should talk to your church leaders or synod about available options.  Perhaps other elders in your church or pastorate would welcome this too. 

8. Pastoral care is not about counselling

Pastoral care isn’t the same as pastoral counselling. To be a counsellor you need to have been specially trained in particular skills and techniques.  Offering pastoral care is different, and whilst some skills are important and training may be provided you don't have to have special skills in counselling to exercise pastoral care and support. 

Look at the example of Jesus - he sometimes challenged, sometimes encouraged, sometimes exhorted, sometimes opposed - but always loved - you are not alone!  Remember too his example of sending disciples out in twos - pastoral care is about mutual support. 

9. Aspects of pastoral care

In whatever context or structure pastoral care is offered within your church, the following pages note some of the most important aspects that you need to be aware of and to understand within the context of your church locally, regionally and across the wider URC.

It might be helpful to discuss these aspects of Pastoral Care with your church leader and other elders in your church.

9.1. Safeguarding and referral

When exercising any form of pastoral care it is always important to be mindful of matters relating to Safeguarding.  Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility but the Elders' meeting has a particular duty within the local church to ensure that safeguarding policies and procedures are in place.

The opening paragraph of the URC's Safeguarding Policy Statement (2021) states -

As elders it is important that we know and understand URC, synod, and local policies and our responsibilities within them

There is further discussion of these topics in the Governance section where you can also find a link to Good Practice 6.

The URC's foundation-level online Safeguarding Course can be found here

9.2. Boundaries, confidentiality, and friendship

Boundaries

Remember that you are a church visitor, not a counsellor, social worker or professional carer.  Do not offer levels of support that are not sustainable or beyond your ablility.  If possible help the person to access the support they need from elsewhere. Awareness of, and adherence to, your boundaries and limits is important. An effective pastoral care system will have someone to whom you can refer your concerns so that you are not left to tackle difficult situations on your own.

If you feel the conversations are moving into areas you feel uncomfortable with or beyond your understanding, ask permission to share this with the minister/pastoral leader and where appropriate have matters passed on to those with expertise in the areas needed.

Also be aware of your own personal boundaries and the boundaries of others by only sharing with others that which is appropriate.  

Confidentiality

Keep things in confidence unless you have permission to share the information, or there is a safeguarding concern (see section on safeguarding). 

Friendships

9.3. Being inclusive

Inclusion and being aware of our biases

Many of us may find it more natural to relate to one individual in a family, or to particular people within our church - this is normal human nature.  We should however try to cultivate an attitude of inclusion so that all those within our care feel noticed, valued and appreciated.   

We all have biases towards people who are like us – again, it’s human nature – but we can learn to cultivate an attitude of inclusion towards those who are different, whether that’s through ethnicity, gender, sexuality, age, mental health, disability, social class or anything else.   Being aware of our biases and becoming more self-aware of our behaviours and attidudes takes time and even courage but if we can do this our churches will become more welcoming, inclusive and diverse, better reflecting God's love for all.

9.4. Learning to listening

Listening

One of the most important aspects of pastoral care is to be able to truly hear what somebody is saying to us. This includes being able to hear without bringing our own agenda to bear on how we respond.

Some thoughts on how we listen

It can be very hard for us to remain silent, as it is natural for us to want to share our point of view. It can also be difficult to listen attentively when not joining in the discussion. However, good active listening is not the same as maintaining a conversation. It is a way of listening to others by letting them speak, to know that they have been heard, allowing them to explore their situation and to find their own answers to it. The listener enters into the situation of the other and is able to make appropriate prompts as they seek solutions. 

This skill is often known as ‘empathic listening’. This can be quite a difficult thing to practice for people who feel they need to have answers to questions and solutions for problems, but it is important to develop the ability to listen in this way. It not only allows the listener to hear what the person is saying but also gives space and time to hear what God is saying through their words. Prayerful silence and careful consideration are part of the pastoral carer’s tools for the task.

9.5. A listening exercise

You might like to try the following exercise with other elders or members of your pastoral care team.

Gather people back together and discuss how the exercise felt. How easy or difficult was it, and what made it so?

9.6. To pray, or not?

Praying with people during a pastoral visit or encounter is a real privilege.  It can also be a challenge which is often left unmentioned and therefore undone because elders (and even ministers!) might lack confidence in knowing how and when it is appropriate to pray with and for people, and what to say when they do.

Perhaps the first thing to say is that confidence in this area comes with practice!  

Praying with people might not always be appropriate and it is important to ask them whether they would like you to pray with them.  If they don’t then that is their choice so no pressure should be applied.

If however they do indicate that prayer would be appreciated then a short, simple prayer offered during or at the conclusion of a pastoral visit can be a real source of blessing both to the people visited and the visitor themselves. Praying for the person you are visiting, their family, the situation they are in (e.g. sickness, bereavement, other difficulties) or just holding them before God in prayer using simple words and short moments of silent reflection is all that is needed.

If this kind of prayer isn’t something you would feel comfortable doing, then offering to be quiet for a few moments and then praying the Lord’s Prayer can also be a comfort and is appreciated.  You may also find it helpful to use some forms of pre-prepared prayers as guide to get you started.

9.7. Some practical tips

Practical help for pastoral visitors

It is important to remember that a helpful visit and pastoral encounter does not depend on theological qualifications, or even being very articulate. Sometimes silence is truly what is needed. What matters is “being there” for the other person as a fellow seeker after truth and meaning.

When thinking about pastoral visiting you may find the following advice helpful:

10. Case studies

  Elders talk about pastoral care in this video:  

11. Pastoral care in your church

 To round up thinking about the challenges of pastoral care think a little about the situation in you own church or pastorate – what are its pastoral challenges? What strategies are in place to meet these? What else might be needed?  What questions or discussion starters might you be able to bring to your next meeting of elders or pastoral care team?

12. Review

   Remember those notes that you made at the beginning of this module? Now would be a good time to review them and ask yourself:

then have a look at the next page.

13. Taking things further

Books

Michael Hopkins, Pastoral Care in Practice (2023) Available from the URC Bookshop

Synod and wider church resources

Most synods have people who can offer training in pastoral care, offering help with some of the practicalities as well as skills needed to offer effective pastoral care within the church.  Contact your synod office or training team for more help and guidance on this.

Bible study, reflection, and prayer