Pastoral Care

9. Aspects of pastoral care

9.2. Boundaries, confidentiality, and friendship

Boundaries

Remember that you are a church visitor, not a counsellor, social worker or professional carer.  Do not offer levels of support that are not sustainable or beyond your ablility.  If possible help the person to access the support they need from elsewhere. Awareness of, and adherence to, your boundaries and limits is important. An effective pastoral care system will have someone to whom you can refer your concerns so that you are not left to tackle difficult situations on your own.

If you feel the conversations are moving into areas you feel uncomfortable with or beyond your understanding, ask permission to share this with the minister/pastoral leader and where appropriate have matters passed on to those with expertise in the areas needed.

Also be aware of your own personal boundaries and the boundaries of others by only sharing with others that which is appropriate.  

Confidentiality

Keep things in confidence unless you have permission to share the information, or there is a safeguarding concern (see section on safeguarding). 

If offering prayer through a prayer chain or prayer group or in public worship, be sure that you are confident about what you have permission to share. If in doubt, ensure people or situations cannot be indentified in spoken prayers.

Friendships

It is natural that we will relate more easily to some within our care than with others and personal friendships within the body of Christ are normal and healthy.  What is perhaps less than healthy is when friendships with some are detrimental to the relationships we have with others in our care, or where there may be conflicts of interest which arise as a result of this.  Be mindful of this, and be open and honest if this becomes a source of anxiety and tension within the elders' meeting or amongst those in your care.